Will I Ever Not Feel Like A Fraud?
Spend any amount of time on social media, and there is a strong possibility that you will hear the term "imposter syndrome." It's not surprising why this term has made its way into our everyday vernacular. While this term may conjure up images of a cuckoo in her nest or a spy infiltrating a foreign government, its definition is far less exciting than its name suggests. Merriam-Webster defines imposter syndrome as "a psychological condition characterized by persistent doubt concerning one's abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one's ongoing success." In layman's terms, imposter syndrome frequently refers to the anxiety of feeling fraudulent in what one does. For example, someone experiencing imposter syndrome may feel as if they are a phony, even if they have adequate training & experience in what they do.
Image Credit: Glenn Carstens-Peters
If you're like most professionals, there is a strong chance that you have felt the effects of imposter syndrome from time to time.
Do you ever find yourself thinking:What if everyone finds out I'm a fraud?I have to be perfect, or people will find out that I'm not as good as they think I am.Nothing I ever do is good enough.If I make a mistake, people will know I don’t know what I’m doing.
Imposter syndrome is often a byproduct of anxiety. While not everyone who struggles with anxiety will experience imposter syndrome, if you describe yourself as perfectionistic and high achieving, you're at greater risk for experiencing imposter syndrome than your peers. If we feel as if we have to be perfect to succeed, the byproduct of this is often dread & self-doubt.So, how does one combat imposter syndrome?
Step back & try to weigh the facts of your performance vs. how you feel about your performance.Normalize imposter syndrome when appropriate. While feeling this type of anxiety is uncomfortable, it is a shared experience. Try to remind yourself that it's not just you.Practice identifying anxiety, overwhelm, dread, and imposter syndrome in real-time. When you notice these feelings arise, take a deep breath and attempt to observe your experience.Identify the good and celebrate what you're doing well. We often hyperfocus on our weaknesses, and by shifting our attention to what we're doing well, we can help retrain our brains to see the complete picture.Practice self-compassion when possible. Would you beat a loved one up over the same perceived weaknesses? If not, try to change your internal dialogue to a gentle & more compassionate voice.
Need more help in dealing with imposter syndrome?
Still struggling with imposter syndrome or having difficulty implementing any of the above strategies? Therapy can help. As an EMDR therapist, together, we can work to identify and modify underlying negative core beliefs that contribute to and exacerbate your imposter syndrome. I'm Amanda Parmley, a therapist who specializes in working with adults navigating anxiety, trauma, and low self-esteem. I offer online & in-person appointments at Carolina Beach, NC. Interested in learning more? Reach out today: